What Am I Worth?

"What am I worth?"
This is a question that many of us, even I, have asked ourselves during this lifetime. Well, what ARE you worth? Nothing.... a lot?
Let me tell you, you are indeed worth a lot. We live in a world where image and fitting in apparently matters. But honey, in reality it doesn't. Since when does someone have to define what clique or stereotype you belong to? Seriously, think about it! WHO defines it? No one should. Everyone goes through their own failures, successes, goals, and experiences in life and there's nothing to it. What you have been through shouldn't define your worth. Just because we all go through different things and have different outcomes, that shouldn't define your place on this Earth.

You're amazing in your own way and you should never doubt yourself. Give yourself more credit than what you give. Realize the impact you have made and also realize the reason as to why you are here. Trust me, there IS a reason, whether it's hard to believe it or not. Life is hard, but you have people around you that care. Whatever higher power you believe in, you're on this Earth for a reason. Again, as I've stated before, you may not know it yet, but you will at some point. You have been a huge impact to other people and you might not even know it. You have a purpose.

No matter what hardships you been through, there is a place to grow. You need to learn from it and you need to know that the past isn't want defines you. It's THE moment you decide how you live your life that will. You will always encounter trials but you have support and you have to realize that you are so blessed.
To those reading this right now, I don't know you, but I know you are amazing. You have a purpose. You have so many things in your life to smile about and people that are there throughout your life (and if you truly feel like you do not, you have this website that you can always turn to when is needed ;)). Once you realize the worth you contain (which is A LOT) you will start seeing how great your life is.

I can tell you a bunch of times how great you are, but it won't do much until you realize that for yourself. You have to get to the point in life where you live for YOU. You live for those who LOVE you. For those YOU love. You can't let negativity DEFINE how you'll live the rest of your life.

Like my motto has always been, "Live.Laugh.Love."
"What am I worth?"
This is a question that many of us, even I, have asked ourselves during this lifetime. Well, what ARE you worth? Nothing.... a lot?
Let me tell you, you are indeed worth a lot. We live in a world where image and fitting in apparently matters. But honey, in reality it doesn't. Since when does someone have to define what clique or stereotype you belong to? Seriously, think about it! WHO defines it? No one should. Everyone goes through their own failures, successes, goals, and experiences in life and there's nothing to it. What you have been through shouldn't define your worth. Just because we all go through different things and have different outcomes, that shouldn't define your place on this Earth.

You're amazing in your own way and you should never doubt yourself. Give yourself more credit than what you give. Realize the impact you have made and also realize the reason as to why you are here. Trust me, there IS a reason, whether it's hard to believe it or not. Life is hard, but you have people around you that care. Whatever higher power you believe in, you're on this Earth for a reason. Again, as I've stated before, you may not know it yet, but you will at some point. You have been a huge impact to other people and you might not even know it. You have a purpose.

No matter what hardships you been through, there is a place to grow. You need to learn from it and you need to know that the past isn't want defines you. It's THE moment you decide how you live your life that will. You will always encounter trials but you have support and you have to realize that you are so blessed.
To those reading this right now, I don't know you, but I know you are amazing. You have a purpose. You have so many things in your life to smile about and people that are there throughout your life (and if you truly feel like you do not, you have this website that you can always turn to when is needed ;)). Once you realize the worth you contain (which is A LOT) you will start seeing how great your life is.

I can tell you a bunch of times how great you are, but it won't do much until you realize that for yourself. You have to get to the point in life where you live for YOU. You live for those who LOVE you. For those YOU love. You can't let negativity DEFINE how you'll live the rest of your life.

Like my motto has always been, "Live.Laugh.Love."
-AIMEE VARGAS

Opportunities should be taken as life continues

This was an English assignment that I had to do. I had to write a story containing a 93 year old man, a shopping mall, the night of high school graduation, and a secret that needed to be confessed to someone. I hope you read it, because it contains a good moral and I actually ended up liking what I wrote.
To be honest, this story was quite hard to write (especially at the last minute haha) because I gave up on writing stories for years and started writing articles instead.
Please give me your thoughts on this story!


Opportunities Should be Taken as Life Continues
Looking at a plaque that said Mrs. Wheeler I started to speak in a timid voice,“I”m dropping out of high school so here's my papers.”
“What may your reason be as to why you're dropping out?” the Secretary of Lions High asked.
“I just don't feel as though high school is doing any good for me and my life is just a mess.” I sighed.
“You do know that high school graduation is only a month away right? I am positive you'd be able to handle 4 weeks of school, plus you've made it to your senior year. Don't you want to finish what you started 4 years ago?” Giving me a concerned look.
“No Ma'am, I'm sorry, but please just take my papers so I can leave.” Ignoring half of her questions.
“Alright, but you're going to regret it, maybe not now but you will later.”
“Yeah right.” I rolled my eyes and stormed out of the school.

This memory was the last thing I had of ever being enrolled in Seattle's Lions High school. I was always considered as the freak, the quite kid and the outcast. For me, that was normal, but not for others. I had two of the best friends you could think of part of high school. Janet and Ryan were their names. I met them my Freshman year and became friends quickly with them, but they graduated during my Junior year and unfortunately we parted ways, but they were the friends I told secrets to. I recall a memory where I told them my biggest secret. I meditated on telling them for about a month because I was scared they were going to judge me.
“I cut myself. I've been doing it for the last three years.” I whispered to Janet and Ryan.
“You what? Why do you cut yourself?” Janet said without hesitation.
“Janet! Be more considerate here.” Ryan elbowed Janet on the side.
“Sorry, my bad.” Janet looked down on the floor.
“I don't know. Cutting myself is just a way to escape the troubles I have to deal with every day of my life. I just think that's my only way of surviving.” I said feeling quite relieved.
“You know we got your back. Whatever you need we'll be there for you, we promise.” Janet glanced at Ryan and he gave a quick nod.
“Thanks for everything. I'm glad I told you guys. This secret has been eating me for a long time. Please don't tell anyone.” I said sweetly.
“We promise.” They both said at the same time.

My biological parents abandoned me when I was two years old. I guess I wasn't important enough for them. Even to this day I have no clue who my actual parents are and I don't intend on finding out. I was immediately put into Foster Care and it was tough. I've been put in in situations where the father or mother was abusive towards me and the other foster kids and I've also been put in a home where the parents were kind and generous. When I was little it was hard to identify who I really was. Was I worth it? I mean, my parents abandoned me so that obviously meant I meant little to them. I was stranded, suffocating in my own depression. I never called my foster parents mom and dad, they were just foster parents or so I would sometimes call it “the people who take care of me.” The foster parents I had at the time in my senior year could care less about me. They weren't mean nor were they abusive, but they didn't mind what I would do or cause outside of home. When I turned 18 I decided to drop out of high school. High school was a waste of time, especially with the attitude I had. I was already being bullied and isolated. During lunch, if you wanted to look for me, all you had to do is glance over to one of the corners and there I was eating alone. I never once imagined myself going to college and that was when I asked myself what was the point of even going to high school.


I rarely got out of the house after Ryan and Janet graduated. Without someone there with me I didn't feel safe. I feared as if a mob of people would come after me and that would be the end of me. That fear of mine almost came true on the summer of August 15, senior year. My then-current foster parents dragged me to the nearest mall of Seattle since school was approaching, and they said I needed new clothes. Of coarse my paranoia kicked in but I couldn't do a thing about it; my foster parents were going to force me to go to the mall whether their life depended on it or not. Rarely, its' sunny outside because most of the time it's raining, but today wasn't one of those days. I could feel a soft breeze brush through my face and I took a deep breath and thought to myself it was going to be a decent day. Once my foster parents and I entered JC Penny's I examined the type of clothes that were set out and I wanted to leave. JC Penny clothes were definitely not my favorite as far as I could see. I knew that I couldn't argue with my foster parents choice though, so I kept quiet hoping that time would pass by quickly. I didn't care what they would buy for me, just as long as we were out of there.
“I'm going to go to the shoe section, alright? Hold on for a second.” George, who was my foster dad, said.
“ I'm going to the bathroom while George is shopping. You're going to be alright standing here for a while until one of us comes back, right?” Betsy, my foster mom asked.
“Yeah sure.” I lied.
“Okay, hold these clothes while I come back.” And there it was, she was gone.
Of coarse it wasn't going to be alright standing there alone, especially with strangers walking around. All of a sudden a chaotic noise caught my attention and I turned the other direction. A group of eight or ten skater kids were pointing and were laughing hysterically. I knew immediately that they were pointing at me, and I could identify who they were. Some of them were graduates, but most of them still attended my school.
“Look at that freak. He actually shops here?” A graduate yelled. It was loud enough for everyone to hear but once that caught customer's attention they went back to their business.
“Only outcasts shop here Ethan,” a senior chuckled.
The group left the store with laughter echoing the air. My heart dropped. I was lucky enough to not get mobbed, which was my fear.



Now I am a bitter 93 year old man living alone in the same state as I have always been located at. The only regret I have in life is not graduating high school and not being confident in myself. I let people bully me I should have never dropped out and I should have never let those bullies and my depression get the best of me. I guess you could say that I am depressed right now; at the fact that I never continued my life to the potential it could have taken is the worst thing I could carry on.


One month later...

There I am, sitting on one of the thousand seats in the auditorium watching all my former classmates graduate while I'm not. After all the things I've gone through and felt, I think this was one of the worst. Reality sank in when I the last couple of students were walking down the aisle and getting their diploma. Thinking I couldn't feel any worse, seeing the soon-to-be-graduates throw their gowns in the air to make it official was the last straw. I could feel hot bullets run down my cheeks and I there was no care in the world of what those around me thought.


Seventy-five years ago I could have graduated but I decided not to. It is something I don't want to think about but even til this day I can't forget it. I know my life isn't going to continue for much longer, for I am old, and what I would like to take with me in this life is that people learn from my mistakes. Not graduating and not fixing my cutting problem until I was twenty, didn't help me gain anything. It was hard to maintain a job since I had no career to present to managers, and I couldn't get out of my bubble of sadness. Even as I cured my cutting problem I carried the guilt of every mistake I made, which I said, still continues today, and here I am living my last couple of years- maybe days- of life. “Opportunities should be taken as life continues” should be everyone's motto.

"You're just as guilty as the one doing it." -- Dr. Phil

I was watching the Dr. Phil show today and it amazed me how increasingly high bullying  is happening nowadays. I live in Utah where you go out in public and you get hellos' and a warm smile from everyone walking by and you'd think that bullying "doesn't happen" here, but unfortunately, bullying happens and WILL happen where ever you go.

The recent suicides from gays, Asher Brown, 13, Seth Walsh, 13, Justin Aaberg, Tyler Clementi, 18, and Billy Lucas, 15; are just too heartbreaking. These kids suffered bullying all their lives because of being gay and thought that the only way to turn to was to take their own lives. Whether they're young or old people are always going to have something or someone tormenting them, and that's when the better and bigger person has to step up and let their voice be heard. There's a lot of questions that may go through someone's mind, and one of them may be: Who was there to stop it?

Well, that's just it! Who was there to stop it? It's OUR responsibility to stop bullying NOW. I believe we all need to take notice of what is happening around us. There's so many that are too focused on themselves and don't open their eyes as to who is suffering.If you happen to witness bullying don't just stand there and think that it's okay to let them do so. "You're just as guilty as the one doing it" if you don't do anything about it. Immediately step in on the situation and try to settle things. I'm not saying to go and give the first punch but to take things maturely and don't let the victim get victimized. You can always call 911 and go to an adult for help, but PLEASE don't ever let the bully get away with what they do.

Those who bully, I just can't understand how you'd be enjoying yourself. Tormenting another person and ruining their self esteem just shows how big of a character you have. Do you really think that you gain respect by bringing someone's self esteem? To me, all this bullying that's been happening has to do with pride and having a 'title'. I say, stop it.

Whether you live in Utah, California, or in Peru, don't think that bullying will never happen in your city or state. Take notice of those around you and lend a hand. Because those who are being bullied... all they need is ONE person to show them they matter. Make a difference. Stand up for those who need it.

Do something about it before it's too late for an individual.
Bullying doesn't just happen in one country itself... it happens in ONE house, ONE school, or maybe in the streets. It's just a matter of your choosing whether you want to end this or not. It's all up to you. You can shape the world, ONE at a TIME.
Are you up to the challenge?
--AIMEE VARGAS

Advice for a Guy

If you truly love someone, you're not going to pressure them into anything they don't want to do. For instance: sex. You are going to wait until they are ready for it to happen. You don't truly love someone if you don't respect them and their decisions. In fact, you don't really love yourself at all if you don't respect others either.

Find a girl that will respect you as well, someone who you won't doubt. a girl who you can trust and connect with in a deeper level, rather than physical. I think that a girl who can make you laugh, but is serious when necessary is the way to go. Find that girl who can share your deepest thoughts and feelings with.

If you are religious, I'd say you should wait until you are married to have sex. In my opinion that is the best way to go because once you are married, you're tied down to one person, and not going around with other women. My decision is to wait until I am married because it will be a lot more "special" that way. I want to be able to have my marriage in the Temple, have a family for eternity, and know that I waited for the special someone.

What My Mission is

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to make something out of my life and for others, but for years I thought I was "stuck" where I was. I thought because of my disability I couldn't get to the place I had wanted to be. Now that I'm older I have realized that I can achieve what I want and be happy with the best I can do. I feel like it's my mission to talk to and help others. Helping others makes me happy and I have started writing so in that way I can reach out to hundreds, maybe thousands. You may not agree with what I write, but I just write what I feel and what my opinions are. I hope to motivate as many as I can.  

I have Spina Bifida, which means "Split Spine"(Spina Bifida – a condition in which the spine does not develop properly before birth; can cause varying degrees of disability. A diet with sufficient levels of Folic acid taken in the months before and during pregnancy can help prevent Spina bifida. http://www.womenshealthmatters.ca/centres/pregnancy/glossary/index.html) In my case, my mom's pregnancy was a surprise and she did not know about Folic acid. Spina Bifida was also something that was passed down to me because of my dad's side. As I stated in my first paragraph, I thought that I couldn't achieve my dreams because of it, but now, I look at my disability as a blessing rather than a hold back. With my disability, it gives me certain knowledge of things, to teach others, and to help others/motivate on their way to success. I wouldn't change the circumstance that I'm in because it has brought me to where I am now, and that's part of my identity. Without it I wouldn't be me, and my disability makes me stronger and stronger each and every day. I may not say to myself “Okay, today I'm a lot more stronger today because of my disability,” but what I mean is, that every day I learn something new, and realize that everyone has their own “disability” to deal with. I am dealing with this, and so the best I can do is accept it because I know that I will be able to go through it. When I get the chance to look back on two or years previous I do take notice that I have matured, and have been able to handle most situations in the way that they are supposed to be handled. For example, every time I am about to get a surgery, I know how react to it because I've been through it before. Every day is a learning process, for myself, and for everyone else.     I have achieved a lot, and when I got the chance to be part of the Utah Jr. Wheelin Jazz last year, it really boosted up my confidence that I can get to where I want to be. I am living my dream being part of the team and am grateful to have been introduced to Wheelchair Basketball. Back when I was in the 7th grade was the first time I got a “taste” of what basketball really was like. When I held the basketball in my hand and started shooting for the first time in my life, I instantly fell in love with the sport. Now that I'm part of a National sport, I couldn't be happier. From the first practice that was held, to now, I have improved a lot. I love the fact that I've gained so much knowledge and get to improve each and every week. Not only are the Utah Jr. Wheelin Jazz a team who gets to shoot around and make baskets, but our mission is be role models to others and let people know that there is a chance to achieve your dreams. It's also about letting others know that even in our situations we can play sports just as much as the able bodied. The actual definition of disability is: not being able to perform something because you're lacking physically or mentally. In my case, I can't run, jump, or tip-toe, while someone else wouldn't be able to do the splits, or even dance. Everyone has a disability, even though that's not what most people see. 

I want others to know that even if you feel like you are at rock bottom and can never rise up, you can. You can do anything you'd desire and be happy, but just as long as you don't give up. If you do feel like giving up, don't. Every time you try hard, it's something that is worth while, trust me. When things get out of control, go do something about it. Whether it's out for a run, a roll, shooting hoops, anything that's active can help you feel a lot better. I have always found that basketball takes all the emotional pain and stress I have during the day and puts it into something good!-AIMEE VARGAS